Maiden Voyage

Maiden Voyage is now becoming Diet and Discipleship at http://www.divinediscontent.wordpress.com.

At the end of July, Maiden Voyage will be moving to Wordpress.com (because its free)

I am going to be taking a blogging break for a while.

Bombworks is one of the best independent Christian Record Labels out there. Not only that they promote independent music, but original music. Bombworks website is here: http://www.bombworksrecords.com

Some of the bands are Adiastacia from Brazil and sound like Helloween and Gamma Ray (speedy power metal)



Luminaria is from Poland and sound like Type O' Negative and Paradise Lost



Seven Angels is from Brazil and play melodic power metal similar to Sonata Arctica.



Illuminadi is from Poland and they play post-gothic extreme metal similar to Believer.



One can purchase Bombworks bands at www.cdbaby.com, www.radrockers.com, and www.girdermusic.com

I was dreading weighing in this morning at Planet Fitness because of a lot of social activities such as the All Church Cookout at the Freudenreichs this weekend, and dining out on Monday Night for our family friend's birthday before Red, White, & Boom. As I weighed myself on the scale, I am 2.25 pounds from my next goal which is actually pretty good. Only 75 pounds more to go.

I have been off from work for the past few days which has been great. I have been able to spend time with my family, my dog, and friends. I met with Ram at Cup of Joe today. He defined Celibacy as "singleness of heart." My roommate also came down and showed us some of his ecclectic record purchases.

Finally, I have been reading Thomas Merton's Memoir "Seven Story Mountain". It is really good. His mother died when he was little, so his father who was an artist and painter raised him. It must have been difficult being raised by a single parent back in the 1920's. He was really close to his father. Sometimes God can use pain, sorrow, and suffering to bring us to him. I love Thomas's brutal honesty:

"I sat there in the dark, unhappy room, unable to think, unable to move, with all the innumberable elements of my isolation crowding in upon me from every side: without a home, without a family, without a country, apparently without any friends, without any interior peace or confidence or light or understanding of my own - without God, too, without God, without heaven, without grace, without anything. And what was happening to Father, there in London? I was unable to think of it."

At this point, Thomas' father is in a hospital bed in London dieing of Brain Cancer which is a horrible way to die. It reminds me of my friend Sean. Three years ago Sean died of Brain Cancer which started as malinoma or skin cancer. My brother and I talked about Sean this weekend. Some of the simple things that Sean enjoyed was watching NASCAR on Sunday afternoons. He was a big Dale Sr. and Dale Jr. fan. He shared with my brother the ins and outs of pit strategies and how teams have to adapt to each individual track on the NASCAR circuit, which cars do better at which tracks, and how weather plays big. Sometimes we miss the joy of the little things such as watching NASCAR on Sunday afternoons.

As Christians, we have a promise that death isn't the final blow, but that by faith in Jesus we can enter into eternity with him for what he did on the cross.

Joh 5:24 Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life.

Flagship - Maiden Voyage

Flagship is the progrock band from Christian Rivel of Narnia. Flagship sounds like early Kansas, and is for fans of Yes, Kansas, old Genesis, and Spock's Beard. Heart felt godly lyrics. Kerry Livgren of Kansas plays the guitar solo for the AD cover of Ground Zero. Highlights include "Your Throne, Windy City, and Ground Zero".




Narnia - Enter the Gate

This album is one of my favorite power metal albums that just got released in past 3 months. Other than awesome guitars and epic vocals, this album has hooks and lots of them. Almost every song kicks ass!!!! Highlights include "the title track, Another Day, Into this Game, and A Man from Nazereth".




Section A - Parallel Lives

This is a great progressive rock/metal bands. Andy Edberg is one of best melodic metal vocalists out there. This album is a concept album. For fans of Lions Share, Narnia, Dream Theater, and Sonata Arctica.




Edenbridge - The Grand Design

Edenbridge are from Austria and they play angelic newage metal. Sabine Edelbacher has a gothic angelic voice. Lanvall's melodies and guitar playing is almost heavenly. Highlights include "The Grand Design, The Most Beautiful Place, On Top of the World, and Flame of Passion".



Edenbridge - A Livetime in Eden

Edenbridge's first live album. Quality sound, long melodic solos by Lanvall, and as always, Sabine Edelbacher's angelic voice. Includes a lot of their hits such as "Cheyanne Spirit, Forever Shine On, Arcana, Holy Fire, and a Medley Sunrise In Eden/My Last Step Beyond."



Katagory V - The Rising Anger



Katagory V are from Salt Lake City, Utah and play progressive metal like early Fates Warning (with John Arch), and Nevermore. This album is good, not great, but is for fans of American Progmetal. Highlights include "Drained, and Liberator". I would give this album 3 out of 5 stars.



Dream Quest

Dream Quest are from Canada and they play what they call "adventure metal". Adventure metal is a cross between punk/thrash rock, and power metal. Very christian friendly lyrics.

I saw X-Men 3: The Last stand last night with my brother. I wept and mourned when Jean Grey was transformed into the Phoenix, and when the Phoenix killed and consumed the man that Jean Grey loved, Scott Summers, and her mentor Dr. Xavier.

I thought that the Phoenix of Jean Grey represents the sin nature when it is out of control. The sin nature is always bent on destroying ourselves and others. Consequently, Jean could not control the Phoenix, and was enslaved to her passions, desires, and lusts. The Phoenix was destructive destroying and consuming everything in its path. Magneto tried to use and manipulate Jean Grey for his own selfish purposes, but could not control the raging force that was within Jean Grey as well.

Jean Grey's end was tragic because the only way to be truly free of the Phoenix was to die. Wolverine in his love for Jean Grey killed her so that in death she could be truly free.

My friend John B. mentioned the verse below from Proverbs about someone who lacks self-control.

Pro 25:28 A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.

Col 3:5 Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.
Col 3:6 On account of these the wrath of God is coming.

My daily journal about my road to recovery is moving to http://www.divinediscontent.wordpress.com. My Livejournal account will probably focus more on music, metal, and my hobbies.

Last night Dwight taught on Addiction at IDM. It was really, really good. He discussed the addiction cycle and how to break our idolatry. When Jesus is not the center of our life, something else will be. Leanne Payne states that "if we don't practice the presence of the Lord, will practice the presence of the other or something else". Addiction is an unhealthy attachment that tries to possess, cling, and find life in something or someone other than the Lord. Basically addictions is a form of idolatry. To break the addiction cycle it is imparative to Practice the Presence of the Lord.

Most addictions start with triggers. Triggers can be internal issues, problems, and pain such as loneliness, anxiety, fear, unforgiveness, self-hatred, etc. or external circumstances. Because triggers flame the wounding that is within our hearts, we want to medicate or cover up the pain. Instead of obsessing how to medicate the pain, we need to bring our pain and wounding to the Lord and ask him to enter into it. As we do this we receive the "peace that surpasses all understanding" (Phil 4:6-7), and then we can enter into true worship with our whole hearts (Loving God, and Loving our Neighbors).

Dwight also talked about how some people who have physical pain (chronic pain, diseases, and other things) the healings can be instant. Since emotional pain deals with the heart, the healing process takes longer. The healing journey can be through deserts, raging rivers, and steep mountains.

This verse is about Practicing the Presence of the Lord:

15 This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says:
       "In repentance and rest is your salvation,
       in quietness and trust is your strength....(Isaiah 30:15 -first part of the verse)

My grade school friend Lisa got married to Chris this past weekend at King Avenue United Methodist Church. The reception was held at the Franklin Park Conservatory. Here are photos from the Reception






I sat with Gary and Myndi from CVC at the reception.

This photo is from Kristie's graduation party at the Merrimans. Sybil T is the mother I have never had, and Kristie is the sister that I have never had, and both are Godly, mature women that I respect.

BTW - I am all partied out from all of Graduation parties, and Lisa's Wedding I attended this past weekend. I ate like a pig, and could not stop. It seems to me that I am shooting myself in the foot because I workout and eat right during the week, and then it seems to go to pot during the weekend.

Gabe - After a hard days work down at the Ravine



Gabe the Super Retriever - Always Ready for Action!

I haven't blogged lately. I am flattered that so many people from church community are joining my gym - Planet Fitness.

I love my neighborhood. I had coffee with my English friend Andy who moved into Bob's place on Monday. It was good catching up.

Books that I have been reading are:

1. Henri Nouwen - The Voice of Love, a Journey from Anguish to Freedom
2. Bold Love - Dan Allender
3. The October Horse - Colleen McCollough
4. The Cloister Walk
5. Foxes Book of Martyrs
6. Friendalationships

Music that I have been listening to:

1. Saint - The Mark (An album about Revelation) They sound like Judas Priest
2. Narnia - Enter The Gate - I love that Napster is Free
3. Cloudscape - s/t - Swedish progressive power metal
4. Bill Mallonnee - Hit and Run - Bill stripped down
5. Michael Knott - Strip Cycle - He has a song called Rock Stars on Heroin
6. Edenbridge - The Grand Design - Progressive Goth Metal from Austria
7. Matt Redman - Facedown - I really like his worship music, and I can actually play some of his stuff
8. The Violet Burning - Drop-Dead - Michael Pritzl's take on Franz Ferdinand
9. Bride - Oddities
10. Destra - Joe's Rhapsody

My friends Mark and Dave love the Simpsons. I thought this was funny that Homer is new lead vocalist for the court jesters of metal.

This past Sunday has been an emotional rollercoaster for me. I really connected with Jeff's Sermon because for me the Pearl of Great Price is Not Jesus, but my addiction. I desperately want Jesus to be the Pearl of Great price, but I continue to keep going back to the same "empty well". My friend Dwight at church prayed for me and the emotional floodgates "opened up", and all the pain that has been buried below the surface started erupting all over the place. I couldn't deny how hideous the sin that is buried deep within is anymore. When I got home the tea pot of emotion started boiling over again, and God started pounding away at my heart breaking up the fallow ground (Hosea 10:12) so he can do heart surgery (which is coming). The emotional pain I felt was similar to Dr. Slager rebreaking my wrist when I was 6. That was excruciating physical pain, this was excruciating emotional pain. My counselor calls this a deep cleansing. It is comforting that God hasn't given up on me yet. That I have been bought with a price and he wants me to be whole, and be "Wholly His".

Nevertheless, the floodgates continued to overflow later that afternoon. Steve, Matt, Mike, and I prayed through the "Curses of the Generations" prayers, and God showed up. We might have had a physical healing, we had prophetic words, and God started accessing my emotions again through Matt B's playing of U2's "40". When I heard the lyric "How Long", I started weeping again.

    19 I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh.
    20 Then they will follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. They will be my people, and I will be their God. (Ezekial 11:19-20)

I took my friend Mike to see Yngwie J. Malmsteen at the Newport last Thursday Night. It was a great show. Yngwie played for 2 hours straight, mostly his prima-donna solos and instrumentals. He is archetype of the neo-classical metal genre. Many, many bands have been influenced by Yngwie such as Chris Impelliterri, Narnia, Harmony, Stormwind, Mattson, Winterlong, and Seventh Wonder. Yngwie had 14 Marshall stacks, and an allstar band of Doogie White from the UK on lead vocals, Derek Sherinian formerly of Dream Theater on Keys, and two other Swedes on drums and bass. Myself, being a big vocal critic, could not hear Doogie White's vocals over the guitars and keys thus I was a little disappointed (we were not there to hear vocals anyway). Doogie White sounds a lot like the rest of the vocalists that Yngwie has played with in the past such as Joe Lynn Turner of Rainbow and Deep Purple, Jeff Scott Soto, and Mark Boals. My favorite song that he performed was the Rainbow cover "The Gates of Babylon". He also performed a Hendrix and Deep Purple cover as well. It's hard to imagine this guy playing a Hendrix bluesy/Stevie Ray Vaughn cover and then go directly into a neo-classical guitar solo. He also did or butchered classical arrangements of Paganini, Bach, and maybe Vivaldi on both the acoustic guitar and electric guitar.

Other songs that he performed were "Black Star, I See The Light Tonight, Rising Force, and I am Viking."

This week I have been dog sitting at my brothers. My roommate and I don't watch t.v., so being able to watch t.v. is a mixed blessing. Unfortunately, after watching the news and entertainment news, I usually get bored and turn off the t.v. Also, because I haven't kept up with Lost, Alias and other shows, they tend to be difficult to follow unless you been an abid fan. So I turned the t.v. off and tried to read. Also, with all of the rain, wiping the dogs feet every time they go out has been a real hassel. Jema also woke me up at 1:00 in the morning to go outside.

I have been struggling with letting go. I have been struggling with being still, and allowing the pain to come up. Last night, at my brother's I had a difficult time getting into God's Word. I couldn't shut my mind off. I have been self-loathing due to binging on chips and melted cheese at my brother's after work the past 2 days, and distracted by my friend "K" whom I have always been attracted to. She has recently come back into my life 2 months ago when she visited my church. Sometimes the feelings that I have for her are really intense (I can become completely undone in her presence), and other times she is just another pretty woman that I am interested in. Oh well. "K" has always been a really good friend, and someone that is a kindred spirit of mine. However, we are into two different worlds (myself at CVC and her at the "Big Vineyard").

The ultimate test is do I believe that my Heavenly Father is good, and desires the best for me? Can I trust the Lord with "K" or any other woman that may come into my life at different times and seasons? Can I relate to them through the Cross of Christ as His Holy Boundary?

Mary McClean talks about following Jesus as being "obedient in his presence". She says that to walk with Jesus we need facts, feelings, faith, and feet. Facts engage our intellect and minds about the truth of who Jesus is and his reign and rule in our lives or lack of it; feelings begins to interract our head and heart by engaging our emotions; faith bridges that gap between our emotions and our will; and feet is where we make our daily choices to follow Jesus.

 Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good!
   Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!

(Psalm 34:8 ESV)

BTW - I am seeing this guy tonight:

Sweat is breaking on my brow
Where's the freak to ease my pain?
The room is dark and big and empty
Silence drivin' me insane...
There's a part of me that has not been sold
Save me please, embrace me, hold me
And kiss my bleeding soul
(Sacrifice - from RocketRide)

I love Edguy because they talk about being desperate. We all have a freak, idol, or something that we run to to ease the pain. These guys are real. Anyway, I having one of those weeks where I am looking more to "my empty wells" to ease my pain than to God. And like the lyrics from which Toby writes, there are a part of us that desires righteousness, wholeness, and to be embraced by God.

Yesterday was weigh in day and I've lost another 1.6 pounds over the past 2 weeks to my lowest weight ever in the past 6 years. Since I started Weightwatchers in September, I've lost 39 pounds, and since I saw the doctor in August, I've lost 44 pounds. My weight is yo-yoing because I'll overeat, and then try to over-compensate with exercise. Another thing is that I am lifting a lot more weight, and my body will retain water to balance out the breaking down of muscles. I'll gain 2 pounds after a heavy lift day, and then by the end of the week, I'll lose those 2 pounds and then another pound or so. I don't get it. I guess the bottom line, is to lose weight, one has to burn more calories than what is taken in. This takes a lot of discipline, and submitting my will to the Lord and allowing him to be my master over my appetite which is a daily, moment-by-moment exercise, and not very easy to do. Nevertheless with the weather breaking, I have been getting out more and walking especially with Gabe.

This week has been really busy with a lot of fellowship community type of stuff such as moving Sybil T. on Monday, and other things. What is nice about living in the neighborhood where my church resides is that people come over to Steve's place to hang out. Last night Ray came over, Becky and Effie came over briefly (it was romper room in the house with Gabe and LB chasing Effie - at least they did not destroy anything), and our friend Mike came over. Mike is my heavy metal bud, and is an incredible guitar player. We had a metal jam session, and then we metalicized or butchered, depending on your perspective, worship songs (One Day, Jeff Anderson Songs, Grace Like Rain, and Holy is the Lord on High). Mike and I are going to see Yngwie J. Malmsteen at the Newport next week (both of us are counting the days). On Tuesday, Jovan at YeahMeToo Coffee, gave to me the Rough Guide to Heavy Metal Music (kind of like an encyclopedia).

In other things, I had really good quiet time at the OSU House of Prayer which may turn into my place to practice solitude and silence. I am interested and fascinated with the Christian Mystics of the middle ages (St. Benedict, St. Patrick, St. Augustine, John of the Cross, St. Teresa of Avila, Madam Guyon, Thomas A'Kempis to name a few), and modern day mystics such as Thomas Merton, and Henri Nouwen. All of these people had a deep intimate walk with the Lord. I want to walk with Lord like these people did.

Playlist Right Now:

Lonely - Crimson Glory
The Hands - Queensryche
Shine - Veni Domine
How Far - Stride
Over My Head - Kings X
I See the Light Tonight -- Yngwie
The Gates of Babylon - Yngwie covering Rainbow
Fire Dance - Balance of Power
Pleasure Room - Balance of Power
No More - Shining Star (with Lance King)
Lady of the Night - Shining Star (with Lance King)
Long Live the King - Narnia
Shelter me from the Pain - Narnia
Back from Hell - Narnia
Live My Life for You - DivineFire
Evil or Divine - Audiovision
The Show Must Go On - DivineFire covering Queen
Take Hold of The Flame - Queensryche
2000 Years - Barren Cross
Dead Lock - Barren Cross
Victory - Jacob's Dream
Lady of Winter - Crimson Glory
M.O.M. - Dream Evil
Ion Drive - Stride
Immigrant Song - Demons & Wizards covering Led Zepplin
Silent Cries - Fates Warning
Street of Dreams - Rainbow
Stand in Line - Impelliterri
Valley of The Visions - Veni Domine
Burdens -- Veni Domine
Dog Man - Kings X

Also, for a guy who hasn't seen many movies, I did see Mission Impossible III with my friend Jason on Sunday. It is more of a J.J. Abrams show than a Tom Cruise Show. A lot of plot twists and turns, and reminded me of Alias (this can be debated later). A must see for J.J. Abrams fans (you know who you are). I also saw the Inside Man with Denzel Washington and Jodie Foster.